Empire State of Mind has dozens of parodies but I guarantee you this one's the best! For Lyrics Click here... Yeah I used to live in Brooklyn, working at a tech firm, But then I lost that kush job, thanks to the recession Now Im at that job and, I cant pay rent here I cant pay rent anywhere, they evict me everywhere I thought Id live in Harlem, Maybe in LI city or way uptown on broadway Til I saw that Craigs list, Fit my budget, 100 per week, Only catch for me though, it was way out there in Jersey Commute minutes thirty, took the path train, Went so slow and the stench was unnerving Pull up to a pigsty, Americas worst city Hookers on the corner, thats one of its specialties Say what up to Shauna, still trickin corners You do it with her, shell tape and sell it like porno Brotha I be grossed out, I can smell feces Tell by the stench alone, that Im most definitely in, (eh.. Uh huh Yeah! Yeah! Uh huh uh huh uh huh. General Agreement! I think I just stepped on a used condom!) Newark Homeless people, hookers and crack bums, Theres nowhere they wont poo Welcome to Newark, Killers will take you and hide you, and no one will find you Afraid of Newark, I used to have a girlfriend, and now she wont visit me Cuz just by touching something in Newark you get an STD Looked for a city park, all I found were tittie bars And not the kind youd like cause these girls all had missing body parts Welcome to the pissing pot, Corners where you get shot Stabbed so much, the ER, got my own spot Shoulder stab, kidney stab, grandma stab, holla back And as soon as you think your safe, there comes another sneak attack 8 million reasons to get up out this trash heap Funny its the money that gets people trapped here. Me I gotta train ticket , soon as I get paid, If I can cover the rent Im leaving the same way. Crack Pipes, Needles, Shards of Bacardi, Garbage so high its like a scene out of Wall-E Worst part of it is, Alicia Keys, Jay-Z will never write a song About the peeps livin in (Ehhhhhh That boys dead. Welcome to hell baby,) Newark Gang infested, polluted hell hole, Theres no where to sink to, Once youre in Newark Sure is a nice place to visit, If youre a bullet, Passing through Newark Teeth are whitened, Hairs Feathered and Lightened So guys can go out to the clubs The night life is lined with Guinea Ts, Here to infinity Its the same dude over, like watching Multiplicity Girls with their hoop rings, buy the whole style, They fall in love with the guys, Whose bis, they been jucing The city Im in is city at the gym Guidos spray tanned, the citys filled with them Tommy took a bus trip, now his brows are plucked out Now hes Muscle Milk, Jersey Shore eat your heart out Feel sorry for the people that just drive through Windows rolled up, and their doors are all locked too Came here for the Airport, turned off the Turnpike, Even Onstar is scared for its life. Compared to Newark, New York is a show off Citys so depressing better slip you a Zoloft (In in, Ahh Ahh,) Suffocating, depressing, Nightmare, Where danger will find you, Save me from Newark This was an awful decision, Moving to this prison Known as Newark Newark Newark Theres a guy who sleeps outside my building Recently Ive been getting a bad feeling Hasnt moved a-an inch in like two weeks, And hes starting to re-ek I think he might be dead. Dead. Welcome to Newark. Newark Homeless people, hookers and crack bums, Theres nowhere they wont poo Welcome to Newark, Killers will take you and hide you, and no one will find you Afraid of Newark,